Khalil's birthday!

My little monkey has turned one! We had a "monkey themed" party for him last weekend. Besides it being scorching hot that day, it was really nice. I did pray that it wouldn't rain, so I guess we got the opposite. I'm so glad my mom came by a little early to help me out. She really did a lot with decorating the backyard with streamers and prepping food, even cutting those strong red onions, and it was so appreciated.

Keenan made hot dogs and hamburgers and the cake turned out exactly the way I wanted. The kids all jumped in the jumper and the grownups mingled. Khalil loved his cake and now I have another child with "my" horrible sweet tooth.

Khalil has brought me so much joy. I feel like it's bittersweet. Having other mommy friends that are all celebrating one year birthday parties with twins makes me sad to know that I dont have Khalil's twin brother with us. I'm saddened because I don't want him to be forgotten. I wanted to do something special in honor of Kamal, I want my kids to know they have another brother that is in heaven because God needed him. But my sadness is intertwined with this feeling of gratitude for the baby that I have. He is healthy and fun. Not affectionate but a definant momma's boy. His smile is contagious and the other kids love him so much. I treasure him more because I know how much he has changed all of us. It wasn't easy but he has taken the feelings of grief and weary away.

So, with that all said I want to say Happy birthday to my baby in heaven too. Your family loves you and will always know that you were taken for a reason and you will always live in our hearts!